Archive for June, 2012

American without a signal

Posted in present day with tags , on June 17, 2012 by jimcolemanmusic

Well, I’ve tried to post several entries in this blog in the last week or so, but each time have ended up losing my Internet connection. At times, I could be found wandering around the south of France, iPad in hand, looking for a signal. If I happened to see myself, I’m sure I would laugh. So let’s hope the signal stays long enough this time.

Here is a photo from teho’s house in Roma.

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And here is a photo from where we are in the south of France.

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In one of the earlier lost posts, i waxed poetic about my friendship with Teho. We met by playing rock festivals together in separate bands back in the day. As CSC was breaking up, he asked if we would be interested in doing remixes of each others bands. Cop Shoot Cop vs Meathead. This was t.he last thing that Cop actually released. On its own, it was underwhelming. But it did start a communication and friendship between myself and Teho.

Teho and I went on to release an album under the name Here. In the process, I spent a lot of time in Italy with Teho, and we became best friends. Both of our creative work has continued to evolve and grow. He is now one of the top composers for film and tv in italy. I continue to learn so much from Teho, both on the level of life and living, and on a creative level. He has helped me become a better person through his selfless and loving approach to those around him. And at times I listen to his music and I feel like I don’t need to create any more, as these songs have already been realized. And this isn’t a bad thing, it’s not a feeling of futility. It’s more like a weight has been lifted.

Today is the last day in the south of France. We are staying up in the mountains above the Mediterranean , near a small town named mons. I came here with a long list of activities to do, but we all seem to find the most happiness just hanging around, reading, resting, swimming. Top,or row we are off to Paris. Then home. Looking forward to seeing the catacombs, something we tried to do in Roma but time just ran out.

Welcome to Rome

Posted in personal histories, Uncategorized on June 14, 2012 by jimcolemanmusic

Relaxing in the apartment of my best friend, Teho Teardo. First time that I have visited him in Rome. We have spent a lot of time in Italy through the years, but mostly up north in Pordenone, recording outside of Florence and touring. Times change. I’m here with my family, Teho has 2 kids. Teho has always been pushing forward, finding new ways of getting his music out in to the world, finding new ways and processes in which to work and create. In short, he has been an inspiration. I consider him my best friend, but also a huge inspiration. Sometimes I will see or hear something and it is so profoundly succesful that my reaction is to think “why am I doind what I am doing? When something like this is already in existence, I don’t need to add more noise to the world”. This may sound defeatist, but it’s actually sometimes a feeling of relief, I don’t know why. But I mention this because Teho’s work often arouses this response in me.

I always love coming in to Italy. I don’t know if  it is because I have spent a good amount of time here before, or if it’s just the overall expressiveness of the people, but it always feels welcoming. The difference coming here from Germany was a bit staggering. The Germans seemed so cold and all about the rules. So much about the rules that the public servant types come off as mean, haggard and unhappy. We were on a bus with a bus driver who was very very particular about what kind of luggage, purses, and backpacks could come on board. Very ornery, red in the face, all the passengers ended up getting upset. He ended up yelling in german, “On this bus, my word is law!” Too many individuals of this type roam Germany.

Germany / Human Flesh

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on June 8, 2012 by jimcolemanmusic

Is Germany the country of origin for leiderhosen? Perhaps not, maybe it’s Austria. I had to wear the feared leiderhosen on several occasions as a wee lad, less than 5 I believe. A good friend of mine just revealed to me last week that his mom made him wear the leiderhosen to school every day as a kid. An evil situation that he ended up having to fight himself out of. He laughed as he talked about it, like it was an unfortunate situation but rather funny in retrospect. I’d still be in therapy crying over that if it were me.

Leiderhosen aside, I am currently in Germany. Outside of Kassel, home of the Documenta Art Festival. Proud to say my mother in law is part of Documenta this year, she has an installation. Haven’t seen it yet, but am looking forward to it. I do know that it spills outside of the four walls of the art space and in to the streets as a performance, with people walking the city wearing a variety of sandwich boards. These boards can simultaneously be funny and confrontational. One says, “I EAT HUMAN FLESH”. I have the best mother in law ever.

Our trip over here was an ongoing example of business and the care of customers in the new economy. The flight was 2 hours late in departing. Not due to anything other than “the crew needed to clean the plane”. Didn’t this use to be taken in to account when the airlines made their schedules? The next thing to go was the entertainment system, not good on an 8 hour flight. They finally got that up and running. When we neared Frankfurt, we were put in a holding pattern. Then, once we landed they did not have a gate for us, probably because we were 2 hours late.

I know, I can tell. As I’m writing this, I sound like such an ingrate. And I’m actually feeling pretty good right now. Got a little nap, which revived my perspective. Grateful to be traveling, seeing different parts of the world. Sometimes it just takes a little bit of time digging myself out of jet lag and it’s inherent pessimism. But I am good. Happy, actually. Even though that feels uncomfortable to say.

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Fear and Breathing

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on June 5, 2012 by jimcolemanmusic

Fears. We all have them.

But how much are we ruled by them. My mother used to tell me that you are always either moving forward or backward. A friend of mine now says that every decision we make is either based out of fear or love. I know at times I’m running, but it’s not always easy to know if I’m running towards something or away from something. There’s a whole world of fears out there. My mind can latch on to the most benign shit. I wonder if fear, stress and anxiety has become a default, a habitual state.  Not just for me but for the world. Fear fuels news. You don’t turn on the radio or TV and hear, “Coming up at 6 o’clock: 80% of Metrosexuals say that they feel great!”

Why do I fear that there will never be enough? Is the world going to run out of ice cream? Do I really need that extra bite? Sometimes I’m like a squirrel stocking up for the winter.

Why do I fear that one of these days, the people that I have been working with for over a dozen years will finally wake up and realize that I’m just faking it, that I don’t REALLY know what I’m doing? That I’ve been faking it pretty good so far, but I’m sure that the shit is going to come down any day now. And this in the face of ongoing accolades about the work that I do.

Why do I fear that I will end up alone, stark naked and cold? Penniless and destitute, trying to hide from humanity as my body slowly loses it’s functions. With no one to take care of me because I’ve burned every bridge. Why do I fear that I’ll live so long that all I am is a burden to those around me and the system that might support me?

Why do I have an underlying fear that everything will NOT be alright?

I feel these fears when I’m projecting, when I’m living in the past and the future, when I’m not rooted in the present. I look at the overwhelming big picture and it crushes me, everything seems just so immense, too big to handle.

But if I stop, take a breath, close my eyes and breath, all that noise and fear settles a bit. I can see that I don’t need to do 12 things at once and go 150 miles per hour. I can take that time to breath. I can move forward from a place of love and not fear. I can do what I need to do, just the one thing in front of me now, and not worry about the outcome of that. I can lighten my load, decrease my stress, and help myself and those around me. Love that.